Originally titled “10 reasons I find it so difficult to write” (I couldn’t think of the last three — fitting, I know) this post allows me to get a few of my thoughts and insecurities off my chest, and practise enunciating them.
- There is so much going on in my mind when I try to focus on writing that it almost feels like I am in a loud nightclub and my thoughts are but whispers in the midst of the hubbub.
- I feel that there is a fine line between writing honest thoughts and sharing so much that my entire life is up on display. Back in the days of Livejournal I used to have my public posts, and posts that could only be seen by those I chose. It appears WordPress only has completely public or private options available. I’ve written a few of the latter kind, which I find easier to do than changing names or being cryptic, which would be the other option.
- At the age of thirty, I still haven’t managed to figure out the time of day when my writing reaches the tips of my fingers more readily. I think I am more of a morning person, but working shifts sometimes changes the time of day when my energy is at its most productive. Regarding the first point, I feel that writing in the morning provides me with the quietest mind, so that is definitely something for me to consider.
- I don’t have a proper study or writing desk at home. Living in a small apartment, we have employed some “life hacks”, so the computer desk is hidden in half of the built-in wardrobe in the bedroom, which in itself is not a bad thing. The problem comes when I am not alone in the room, and cannot write comfortably as the monitor faces the room itself and my unedited thoughts are facing the world. Nobody’s fault, but it does impede my state of mind when sitting down to write.
- I am not confident in my writing abilities. Although that in itself is no reason not to write, I can’t help but feel that Wordpress represents a serious, more mature writer than, for example, its young cousin Tumblr. I’m probably being silly but the words ‘not good enough’ occasionally come to mind. I have started reading more, which I hope will help inspire and teach me a thing or two about writing. As I’ve mentioned before I plan to read a fair bit over the Winter.
- What am I passionate about? The easiest and most logical route to take would be to write about my passions. Six years ago I was enrolled in an audio production course, and had just found work in a production company which fulfilled my New Year’s Resolution to “get my foot in the door”. Although I can’t emphatically state that this was my passion and that I lived and breathed it, I had something in my life which I was curious about, enjoyed learning about. Six months after I graduated my family suffered through something extremely sad and traumatic. I believe that this caused the proverbial fire inside me to be put out. Five years on, and although I am much better than I was back then, passion is somewhat of a distant memory. How can I write successfully with just cinders?
- My memory is questionable. Though I often remember curious and odd things that everybody else has since forgotten, the filing cabinet in my head is not very well organised at all. Perhaps writing could help with that?